Disentangling

Everyone has a story to tell regarding faith and spirituality, but they may not know how to tell it or believe it is significant. The term “Disentangling” is a recent term used to describe the process of sorting through faith beliefs and practices to determine what we can continue to hold and nurture and what to let go of. It is a personal journey and you may not want to speak of it or bring it into therapy. And…please know that you can.

The decision to even question, let alone leave or alter one’s faith and/or faith traditions is often incredibly confusing and painful. And emotional pain that is not addressed can worsen mental health symptoms.  For most of us, the subject of faith feels big and heavy, weighed down by our personal history, family norms and expectations, and most of all, our deepest longings. Exploring, detangling, deconstructing, and rebuilding is important work and possibly the most meaningful work you will ever do. If the time has come to do this work, and you do not want to do it alone, then it is important to find a therapist who knows how to talk intelligently about faith. Your therapist should be able to remain faith-neutral, faith-allowing, and faith-supportive–all at the same time.  Faith-focused therapy session should be experienced as nonjudgmental and completely safe. While you will direct the process and determine goals, your ultimate goal will most likely be achieving clarity, wisdom,  and understanding of your own beliefs so that you can craft a future that embraces them. And this must be done without pressure from others, including your therapist, to believe a certain way. There may be points in the process wherein you will grieve, lament, and struggle. So the therapist’s role is to be near, to be that third person in the room. Faith-focused therapy should feel warm and accepting and above all…helpful.

Because of her own religious experiences and evolving faith journey, Christina Unruh, LCSW feels uniquely qualified to listen to you very carefully, ask meaningful questions, and validate the emotional pain in a knowledgeable way. While she does NOT consider herself to be an expert on faith issues she does identify as someone who knows the questions to ask.  Christina is knowledgeable about church and spiritual abuse. She has personally witnessed and experienced the struggle and isolation that accompanies exploration followed by the realization that there is no longer a fit with one’s established faith community. And yet she believes wholeheartedly that faith is a human right and it is worth fighting for. She stands ready to support, uplift, and offer skills to manage the emotional upheaval that faith conversations generate. For more information or a consultation on what faith exploration might be like in your therapy, contact Christina Unruh, LCSW today.