Improving Painful Relationships
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
– Carl Jung
In my clinical experience, anxiety and depression often decrease when we work on improving just ONE of the relationships that we value. Yes, just ONE improved relationship can change the entire picture of your future and reveal new possibilities. And you do not need to have that person with you in therapy to improve things. Imagine that! In my experience, relationships are always at the core of a person’s mental health issues. I feel strongly that you cannot address depression or anxiety without also exploring what is going on between you and the important people in your life. And again, you can work on relationships in therapy, even if you feel certain the other person doesn’t care and you are the only person working on them. You can set limits and relate in fresh new ways that will radically change the dynamic.
Research proven tools from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), such as emotion regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, and interpersonal effectiveness, can help you:
- Validate others even when you disagree with them
- Generate warmth and empathy in any situation
- Foster effective communication
- Create mutual respect and affection
- Deliver feedback without regrets later
- Repair misunderstandings rather than just apologize
- Problem-solve situations with others without losing your cool
- Communicate more with facts and less with opinions
- Build trust and credibility with others
- Communicate in a way that is consistent with your values
- Validate your own emotional experience
- Find the courage to be authentic with awareness and sensitivity
- Equalize power imbalances
- Set personal limits that match your values
- Label and describe problematic relational interactions
- Understand how behaviors function in the relationship
- Learn behaviors that build your credibility and match your values
- Learn to be less reactive and more intentional in behavior